When you first start dating someone you enter the can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other “honeymoon” phase. Butterflies, excitement, and sex. Lots of sex. And most definitely no dutch ovens.

Inevitably, as time goes on, your relationship changes. Between work, children, friends and a mortgage you can barely find time for yourself, let alone your partner. And before you know it, you find yourself having obligatory sex on birthdays and anniversaries.

Being in a long-term relationship has its perks, but it’s no secret that keeping the passion alive in the bedroom isn’t exactly easy. So we asked seven real-life couples how they keep things hot with their long-term partner.

7 long term couples share how they keep their sex life hot

18-24 year bracket

1Couple 1 – together for 3 years

Try new things

“We like to mix up our usual routine with different positions, sex toys (like a cock ring) and imaginative role plays to keep things fun and exciting. Sexting is another great way to keep the spark alive. It livens up our work day and gives us something to look forward to at the end of the day.”

24-35 year bracket

2Couple 2 – together for 3 years

Sexy lingerie

“We’ll go on a date somewhere new, arrive separately and try to learn something new about each other. Or I’ll wait at home for him in something small and sexy (knickers, heels and his best tie). It will be completely unexpected and it works a treat.”

3Couple 3 – together for 10 years

Dress up

“I’ll get my partner to wear a trade outfit, including a hi-vis vest and boots. That definitely heats things up in our house.” 

4Couple 4 – together for 11 years 

Get a hotel room

“Book a hotel room and buy Agent Provocateur. It’s like a mini getaway.”

36 – 45 year bracket

5Couple 5 – together for 14 years

Sleep nude

“We always sleep nude and try to organise a night out once a week (without the kids) to keep it fun.” 

46 – 55 year bracket

6Couple 6 – together for 15-20 years 

Romantic trips away

“You’ve got to make time together and listen to each others needs. Romantic trips, date nights and day trips at least once per month, without the children. Think incense, candles, massages and enjoying a bottle of red wine together.” 

A photo posted by ALEXIS REN (@alexisren) on

56 – 65 year bracket

7Couple 7 – together for 28 years

Use it or lose it

“Use it or lose it. As soon as you get into a rut of not doing it, it generally turns into a long rut, or sometimes not at all. My husband and I do it regularly and equally try to please each other.”