How to find the balance between technology & your relationship

Iona Yeung is a successful relationship and lifestyle blogger, who covers dating, relationship, breakups and everything in between. Her editorial work has been published on Huffington Post and Elite Daily. Iona is also the Beauty Editor for Style Hunter and founded 30everafter.com. Through her writing she hopes to engage, educate and inspire readers.


How to find the balance between technology and your relationship

By guest blogger and Editor of 30 Ever After, Iona Yeung

I have a terrible habit of checking my Instagram feed before I get out of bed in the morning. When I was single, it was part of a morning routine that affected no one else except for myself. Now that I’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend I’m starting to realise how disruptive technology can be in a relationship. My boyfriend isn’t very tech savvy and doesn’t spend much time on social media. So when I’m on my phone and we’re having a conversation I’m half listening to, he calls me out on it. It’s his pet peeve and something I’m working on to improve.

Sometimes you need to tune out of the technology to tune in to your relationship

I write about mindfulness in relationships from time to time – the importance of being present in the moment with the person you are with. So it means that if you’re out on date night with your partner, your sole focus should be on them. It’s so easy to get distracted when your phone is lighting up in the middle of a conversation but those distractions get in the way of quality time to connect. Next time you’re out on a date, make it a rule to put the phone away. Be present in the moment.

Being in a room with the same person does NOT equate to quality time

I used to think that quality time at home meant being in the same room with my boyfriend. So when we’d watch a movie together, both of us would work on our laptops. That was my idea of quality time.

Mirrors @jayalvarrez

A photo posted by ALEXIS REN (@alexisren) on

Think about the nights you spend watching TV with your partner. Are you really ‘present’ or are you swiping through Facebook updates and Instagram? I’m guilty of the latter. I think it’s fine to engage in technology if it’s a shared activity. But if it means you’re both mindlessly watching TV and on social media, you should probably reconsider what quality time means to you both.

Some things are meant to be private

There are hundreds of ways to communicate with your partner and most of the time, social media isn’t the way to do it. It’s fine to tag them in a photo or article they may like but sharing your intimate moments with 500+ of your friends is like inviting someone to witness the things that go on in your bedroom. You may be open to sharing the intimate details of your relationship, but not everyone wants to know about it. If you’ve had a bad day or want to tell your partner you miss them, do it in a text or private message. For more dating stories visit www.30everafter.com and for more on what men think about relationships, download the free ebook ‘That’s What He Said’.