Is This Form of Self-Love The Most Fulfilling?

Try it for yourself.

self-love, self help, friends, Kate kendall
Image: gypsealust.com

They say that if you want to feel ‘good’, to something for yourself; take a bath, get a massage, eat a nourishing meal. But if we want to feel ‘fulfilled’, do something for someone else.

For many, many years, ‘Self Help’ or ‘Self-Love’ has dominated the bookstore section for the more health conscious and spiritually elite. And, more recently now, anyone from CEOs to domestic goddesses are seeking out truths and refuge in these corners, leaning into the mystery of the universe and how it works.

Just as we learn that we must to apply our own oxygen masks before we can help others on a flight, so too with helping others in the world—be it our siblings, our parents, our friends, colleagues and children.

So, we know the self-love tools now. Be kind to yourself; do nice things for yourself; treat yourself with respect; act with integrity and authenticity, repeat warm, nourishing words to yourself. It’s now time for the next step in our evolution.

How about we create a section in the bookstore called, ‘Helping Others’.

There’s a universal shift happening and if you’re not onboard and still clinging to a solo mission (which can very lonely) you’ll no doubt be left behind.

It took me a long time to realise the dynamic between give and take. I used to think I had to do everything myself and that to support the girl next to me was to admit defeat. I was often competitive with a passive tone of jealousy and bravado, which made for an awesome concoction of scarcity. It was like there was never enough for me, so I had to hold on tight to my ego. This was exhausting. I’ve been so lucky to have so many supportive and generous humans around me in the past few years that have taught me the art of giving to receive and that nothing in this world of substance is done alone.

Here are 3 mindful action steps on how to be a more conscious collaborator and connect with others in a way that’s giving, authentic and that which comes back to you in a massive way.

1Selfless Acts

Do one thing a day from which you expect nothing in return. It could be anything from picking a flower for your barista in the morning to paying for someone’s fuel anonymously.

2Together is Better

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Choose another woman with whom you want to create something cool with—for monetary purposes or otherwise. Bringing two sets of complementary skills together can outstretch your goals and take you places you’ve never dreamed. Nothing I’ve created in my own life, my studio at Flow Athletic nor my The Space Between e-course was done alone. Instead, I collaborated with people who excelled in things I didn’t.

3Donate your time

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Time is often a currency far greater and more powerful than money. Lately for our community challenges at Flow Athletic, instead of donating money, we donate our time to causes. We might spend half a days work together at a city soup kitchen or at a dog rescue place. It’s not only a great way for our members to bond but we feel like we’re contributing and making a difference. And I think deep down this is what we all want.

Remember, what we do for others, we get back two fold. In other words, when we help others, collaborate with others and lift each other up, the same energy is returned. Sounds selfish but it’s a huge win/win. Live it.


We all want to feel happier, more productive and inspired every day, but sometimes we get stuck in a rut that’s tricky to get out of. That being said, there are simple and surprising ways to get unstuck.

In a three part series, co-founder of Flow Athletic and qualified yoga instructor, Kate Kendall will be sharing her tips for boosting creativity, feeling fulfilled and establishing meaningful connections—at work and in life. Check out part one here.