Have you ever been asked the question: if you could spend a day as a man, what would you do? Aside from the more trivial activities—like pee standing up—all women have the same answer: have sex, of course.
I mean, we’re only human, and knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a blow job would make it easier to master giving one, right? And who doesn’t want to be a sexual deviant, after all?
That’s the premise behind Just The Tip: Sex Tips for Chicks by Gay Dudes—because if anyone has a penis and still knows what it’s like to receive a wristie, it’s a gay man. And ladies, they can teach us a lot.
Published by Sydney’s hottest new imprint, Lost The Plot, Just The Tip is a sex advice book written for women by gay men. It covers just about every topic you can think of—like where a guy should blow his load—and many you can’t. From the mild to the wild, the intriguing to the informative, nothing is off limits.
While the book is made up of hundreds of lessons, we have seven to share with you below. Scroll down for the Sex Ed you didn’t know you needed.
1. Do not try to lick or suck someone’s face—it’s not hot
According to men, this is just about the one thing that should be left on screen. Think you’re being sexy? You’re not. It’s not their face they want to have sucked.
2. Apply firm pressure above the base of the penis when he’s close to climax
Speaking of sucking, Just The Tip is full of handy how-tos for giving head. Case in point, #80, which reads:
When the blowjob is underway, and you think your partner is getting closer to the point of no return, place your hand above the base of his penis (just underneath their bladder). Press firmly and rub back and forth like you are massaging that spot. This will really intensify things and make him blow harder.
3. Missionary isn’t the only sex position
Do your research, ladies. There is a plethora of print and online resources detailing different sex positions including how-tos and diagrams. According to Just The Tip, men’s favourite positions include cowgirl, doggy (no shocker there) and spooning—and no, it doesn’t involve pyjamas or Netflix.
4. Putting a condom on someone else (or a sex toy) isn’t difficult. This is exactly how to do it.
Once you’ve opened the condom sachet (being careful not to tear the condom in the process), hold the very tip of the condom between your thumb and index finger – this removes any air.
While still holding the tip of the condom, place it on the tip of the penis and using your other hand gently and slowly roll the condom down over the head of the penis and the entire shaft so that it unrolls all the way to the base of the erect penis.
5. Use your tongue when going down and up the penis
Don’t get lazy, ladies and gents. Remember, lick the stick … not the face.
6. Your hand and mouth should move in opposite directions
It seems only logical to move the hand and mouth in the same motion but apparently, logic isn’t sexy. Most men said it feels better if the mouth and hand move in opposite directions—when the hand goes up the shaft, the mouth moves down—so that they continually meet in the middle.
7. Getting hard is sometimes hard
Flaccid phallus got you feeling, well, deflated? Don’t fret. Getting hard isn’t always that easy and chances are, it’s not you. Men admit the most common reasons for not getting erect are: masturbation prior to sexual activity, too much exercise that day, being tired, being stressed, not enough nutrients in their diet, alcohol use and drug use—all of which come in before a lack of attraction. In other words, there’s a higher chance that he beat off in the bathroom before you arrived than you put him off when you got there.
There are only so many times you can ask Google for sex advice before the Internet God starts to think you’re creepy or a little desperate. Read Just The Tip instead; it answers all the questions you’ve been too afraid to ask.
Just The Tip is one of many quirky debut books from leading Australian publisher, Pantera Press’ new imprint, Lost The Plot. Launching this year, Lost The Plot collaborates with young talented geniuses — including designers, editors, writers, and artists — to create fun, cheeky and sometimes controversial books.
In the line-up, you’ll find everything from a ‘Quit Smoking’ colouring book to an amazing coffee table tome, titled Space is Cool as Fuck, and one of our personal favourites, #single, a hilarious snapshot of some of the most ridiculous real-life online dating conversations that everyone in the Tinder-age can relate to.
They’re fun, funny and a little bit feisty. Check them out at ltpbooks.com