When I was first given the task of writing a piece on ‘how to get your man to try and love yoga‘ I said to myself, ‘OK, I can do that, surely?’.
I grew up with four sisters and my mum, and while I’m gay, a large majority of my best friends are women and for a time a few lucky ladies got to call me their boyfriend. With all this, I consider myself a feminist, so for the purpose of this discussion let’s pretend we’re all equal and I’m on your (our) side.
But here’s the thing if you’re hoping I have some magic words that will cajole your man to dive into a downward dog: the first rule of Partnership 101 is don’t try to change somebody. We are who we are, and while, yes, we can evolve and have a capacity to comprehend and expand our level of understanding to consciousness through regular self reflection, this should come from ourselves, for ourselves. As a by-product that can positively contribute to our unions with partners (as well as the self). It is my strong belief that yoga will certainly clarify and aid this process.
But I also trust that yoga will find people when they are ready.
My mother pointed out when I mentioned I was writing about this topic: “Don’t woman we women have enough to do? Why give ourselves another job!” (By that, she means convincing men who think otherwise that yoga is good for them.)
If you enjoy yoga, then let yoga be for you. If you were a painter and you loved creating on canvas new and inspiring images, would you try and convince your partner to ditch his interests and come paint with you? Of course not. So, send him off to the surf, the garage, the game, the library (if that’s what he loves) and really embrace that time in your class that you get to just be completely and fully immersed in yourself and your passion.
Simultaneously, giving him that same luxury. After all isn’t that the person you fell in love with, whether he can touch his toes or not?
You could try to convince your partner to come and get bendy on a yoga mat. You could lure him by telling him it will increase his capacity to lift at the gym or that it will give him the focus and competitive clarity in his business meetings. You could tell him it will aid in the prevention of injury and give him the edge over his team mates and competitors in endurance, strength and mobility on the field. You could even tell him it will make him a better lover, but thats possibly a slippery slope. (“Are you saying I’m bad in bed?”)
So why give yourself another job? Practice your yoga and gain all these wonderful benefits for yourself, while you radiate intelligence and flourish as a full and complete individual, someone her partner admires and loves because she exudes confidence, is focused, generous, compassionate, real, independent and an all round great lover, mother, sister, daughter, friend, boss, aunty; a complete person.
And if you still really hope he gets into yoga, well… whenever he asks how you juggle everything so beautifully, how you’re so amazing, so healthy, your answer can be: yoga, of course.