Coined by psychologist Dr Gary Chapman in his groundbreaking relationship book The Five Love Languages, it explains that the way we express our love for one another is done so using a certain ‘love language’, one of five to be exact. This ideology means that every person receives and understands love in a specific way or ‘language’ and in turn, this is what makes us feel loved and appreciated – but it isn’t always identical with our partners love language.
When it comes to Christmas shopping and looking for the perfect gift, it can be a nightmare for most couples. We never know what to say when put on the spot, and the same goes for our partners. You think of things you’d want or need throughout the year but never write it down, thus making it hard to remember what you’d actually enjoy opening as a gift this year.
Being an adult is great because you can buy whatever you need or want, whenever! This isn’t so great when you’re thinking of a gift for your special someone and they already have everything – frustrating. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to get your partner something they will love that they didn’t even know they wanted?
By delving into what love language your partner ‘speaks’ in, you can find a better understanding of what they respond to as love. Giving them a gift that speaks to their expression of love not only shows them how deeply you feel for them, it also communicates that you truly know who they are to the core. Let’s take a look at love language and what your partner will respond to the most this Christmas, according to Dr. Lurve.
Your partner loves being appreciated with a written note, compliment on their outfit or a simple “I love you” to start their day. If using words of affirmation is your partner’s primary love language, using your words wisely is the way to their heart this festive season. Go for simple yet effective by writing personal love letters or short poems every day in the lead up to Christmas. For something more expensive, try a personalized journal so they can express their love to you the best way they know how.
If your partner loves spending quality time with you and shutting off the outside world, you should give them the attention they deserve. For their perfect gift, book a holiday that’s remote and relaxing with nothing too fancy or with a lot of distractions. Try a tropical holiday in northern Queensland or Indonesia. If you’re after something closer to home, look at cute cottages and escapes on AirBnB that’s a road trip away from your hometown. It’ll be like a staycation but you can focus on your partner with no one else to bother you with work or commitments.
A common love language among women, this is when your partner receives love by you helping out and offering your services. Rather than saying “I love you” they want you to show them; actions speak louder than words to these folk. You can get pretty creative on a budget with your gift, one of the most thoughtful ways to show your love is making handmade coupons! It sounds cheesy, but your partner will love that they can redeem a full-body oil massage from you when they need it. Even buying them a voucher or taking them on a shopping trip can show them you want to be involved!
You’d think this love language would be the easiest, but it’s actually the hardest of all because you need to rely on giving a physical present! By now you know your partner sees your love through gifts, so really listen when they’re hinting about something they want this year. If you get stuck, ask their bestie what they think is the right gift this year. You don’t want to get it wrong, so have some sentimental connection to the gift – your partner will love your effort and something handmade could be just the ticket to their heart!
Your partner is a sucker for hand holding, PDA, and sitting closely during dinner. They love to be near you and offer affection whenever they can! As one of the most direct ways to express love, your partner will appreciate the art of touching this Christmas. The gift could comprise of essential oils for you to massage them with, a cheeky adult game to play, entries to a new cooking class, or tickets to a pottery making class so you can really get in touch with your senses!
Whatever you decide to get your partner for their perfect gift this year, the more time and effort you put into things the better the gift will be to them. It doesn’t need to be expensive or designer, it just needs to be from the heart.
While you’re learning from Dr. Lurve, check out our guide to navigating drinking during the holiday season.